THE AWFUL ALPHABET

SURPRISE, SON! AWFUL ALPHABET IS BACK, AGAIN. This sucker here? Oh, it’s just a primitive possum practicing prime levitation skills [alliteration bonus], lookin’ like Dhalsim from Street Fighter. Yoga flame? Yoga fire? Yoga eat garbage? Yoga play dead? For sure. Not sure if this even resembles a P, but I’m getting creative with the alphabet game. That protruding brow suggests …

Nothing to see here, just a wild turd onion who’s passed its prime. I think he also has a learning disability. Jumping back into the Awful Alphabet with gusto. Already have the sketches for the next 3 done. Or I’ve had them done for awhile, but you know, life. Layers of stank in this dude. Did you know that onions are …

I hate this. This thing was so intimidating and time consuming. WHY did I think this was a good idea? Because it is a good idea! But GODAMM MAN what a pain! I kinda broke the theme with this one too format wise. I think this would work better as a larger scale drawing than on a 8.5 x 11 …

Mummies and Slender Man should probably never be in the same universe. But what the hell. Talkin’ to my boy Nasty Nanny about this Slender Man dude. He isn’t a fan, but I was feeling it. I still don’t know much about the legend, but I think the character is cool as all hell. All dapper and shit. Those lengthy …

This was torture. Not because it was difficult or challenging. You wanna know why? Have you ever typed “foot” into Google? I did. I wish I didn’t. I needed a reference picture to draw the sketch. There are some absolutely revolting feet out there, I’m tellin’ you. Yellow toe nails… No toe nails. Giant claw like toes… What the hell …

Here it is, the letter K. He’s just dumb. I just look at his dumb face and picture him making a stupid dumb groaning noise. Like, whinny but deep. Maybe something like Louie Anderson. He’s dumb. His sharp, dainty legs. His boiled body. His stupid wings. Dancing to Swan Lake. Just dumb I drew him spitting fire initially, but then …

Uh huh, uh huh, it’s Jabberjaw bait. If Jabberjaw was bloodthirsty and not a dumb, annoying, disproportioned joke of a cartoon character. Nothin’ much to see here. A sweet hook for the letter J, piercing an eyeball errryday. Tryin’ allllll these new pallets out. Had a ridiculously hard time deciding on the back drop color and I still don’t even …

Queue the Beastie Boys. Intergalactic frontal lobes all up in your business. You trying to take a dump in private (I hope in private)? Sorry sucka. Intergalactic Intelligence brain sees you. He sees it all. Or he’s a distress beacon. I don’t friggin’ know, who cares? I HATE DRAWING BRAIN MATTER. AND EYE VEINS. I think I am somewhat of …

What a horribly unfortunate creature. How would this even work? It doesn’t look like he has any joints, just connections that don’t move. His wrists might function, sure, but he has no elbows! If he has no elbows why does he have biceps!? Snot bubbles just blowing away in the wind. What an unfortunate specimen of evolution. But those hands… …

This guy right here? This guy was a pain in the butt. It’s super complex. You may not be able to see it because of the scale, but if I bumped this motha up you’d see… THEN YOU’D SEE. Tried a wacky color pallet too, broke right out of my damn comfort zone. I think it paid off. Like a …