POWER TOTEM. You for real, son? You think that just because there’s a new site up, all this talk about tikis and totems would be finished!? Think again, chump. I gotta design my man cave, so I need as many tiki drawings as I can muster to sludge up the walls!
THE POWER TOTEM! This sucker. Ultimate power plucked straight from the Legends of the Hidden Temple. Like back in the day, when putting the Shrine of the Silver Monkey together correctly meant something. Those idiots could never get it right. But every now and then… Some martyr would come along and absolutely destroy the shrine. You know that kid had the power, even though they’d be nabbed by a Temple Guardian who popped out of a tree or some shit moments later. Let’s be honest that temple was damn near impossible. Nickelodeon REALLY did not want those kids winning that Moon Boots grand prize.
THE POWER TOTEM! This shrine goes up to Omek’s big dumb styrofoam face and kicks it in its ball sack chin. Right in the chin sack. Then it screams “you ain’t nothing.” This totem is all about that nitty gritty power.
THE. POWER. TOTEM.
It’s not messing around, mind you. The triple stack faces of doom. If you don’t know how to wield it, you got no business wielding it! So, leave the power within to me. Did any of that make sense? No?
Now I have to snag a giant version of this to hang next to my tiki masks. All its reflected vector glory. The reds. Those yellows. Those browns. Should fit in nicely in my musty basement.
The Power Totem of ultimate strength and… power is available at the Redbubble shop on a variety of products. It looks particularly sweet on a laptop case and as a repeating pattern on your duvet cover.